#265

As I tried to decipher whatever that was inside myself I realised that what has been consuming my body from the inside is this general discontent with life. It is as though everything is never quite right, like somehow everything is out of place. Like I am out of place. Always. It's like I couldn't find a place where I could really say, "this is where I wanted to be, and these people are those I want to be with". And that kind of feeling, when it lasts for years, it makes you grow weary of everything. Of life, particularly. So as for now I don't have the capacity within myself to live. Right now I can just exist.